@(_)@

Mon, 05 Dec 2005 20:51:15 GMT

cayla, what did we do in German today?

Mon, 29 Aug 2005 04:47:03 GMT

well. School. Soon. Ick

I am kinda glad school is starting, bu kinda not. The getting up early and the homework is what I'm not looking forward to. However I will be glad to see people again. I feel like I don't have friends at Urbana anymore. Everyone that I hang out with is either older or goes to another school. I miss everyone. This year I will have to change that. Seriously. I really won't see anyone this year though because I'm not doing volleyball or chorus. Plus I don't have classes with anyone :( My fault, though.

So its the last real night before school starts. The last night of summer. Hmmmmmm. This summer has had its good moments and its bad. I have managed to stay out of trouble though. Yay Laura! Yeah...I'm a dumbass, just in case you didn't know. I have probabaly slept at my house for a total of a week this whole summer. Yeah proabably seven nights. I spent a lot of time at Brittney's and my mom's house recently. I'm dreading going home. But I'm ready for the organization of school again. Not sleeping untill noon everyday. I will actually feel like I'm doing something worth a damn besides work.

Well I taste Vodka for the last time this summer. Which it tastes like shit because I haven't drank in a while. And no, I don't mean only a few days. lol. I figured I could make a toaste the summer. To the beginning of a new chapter in my life. I am the old one will soon be over. It's time.

I met a lot of cool new people this summer. I also re-met old people that I hadn't seen in years. It brought old butterflies back. I don't know how he always gets to me. Everytime damnit!

Bert and I did a lot of running around this summer. I missed hanging out with and the crazy things we did together. But now I'm glad to get a rest. I will always love you though. (Man vodka always makes me feel this way.)

Hmmmmmmm. So now I listen to my Bob Seger songs. Heh. I know that I am Dork. But...yeah...Okay..I switched to Led Zeppelin. Mwah. WEll I'm gonna go...

Thu, 11 Aug 2005 06:23:15 GMT

so I haven't written in this thing for like a year.

Too much has happened since then. Way too much.

So I haven't done anything this summer really.

WORKED.

Yeah that is about it. I have been hanging out with a lot of people from the past. Mostly Brittney, Joel, and Ryan A. (not my brother) Blast from the past. Let me tell you.

I really don't want school to start again. I don't want to even think about it really. Blah.

I don't have anything to talk about. I'm at my mom's house for the nigh t. I'm listening to my old downloads and looking at old journal entries. They don't make sense to me now lol. I've grown up since then. We all have. So many memories, but I don't want to even remember them anymore. They are pointless.

So I have basically only went to the movies once this summer. I saw War of The Worlds with Ryan. We left before it was even over. But it was like one thirty in the morning. Besides that I haven't done much. I've watched a lot of movies at random peoples' houses. Went to dinner a few times with cool people. A lot of late nights at perkins and Ihop. There have been a few okay parties too. : )

I just remembered I saw Cayla the other night. What were you doing out so late? Hmmmmmmm.

So yeah. Hello everyone.

Thu, 22 Jul 2004 06:42:10 GMT

Thu, 10 Jun 2004 07:43:30 GMT

I don't know if I should feel really good or really bad right now. I feel both. He is so sweet. He hopes our relationship will go farther. I know that's good. But the only bad part is that I'm not sure I feel the same. Yet I don't know anything right now. He is sweet though. heh.

She's an ugly girl.
Does that make you kill her?
she's an ulgy girl do you want to kick in her face?
she's an ugly girl.
she doesn't pose a threat.
she's and ugly girl.
does that tmake you feel safe?
ugly girl.
ugly girl.
do you hate her,
because she's pieces of you?

she's a pretty girl.
does she make you think nasty thoughts?
she's a pretty girl.
do you want to tie her down?
she' a pretty girl.
do you call her a bitch?
she's a pretty girl.
did she sleep with your whole, town?
pretty girl.
pretty girl.
do you hate her.
because she's pieces of you?

You say he's faggit.
does it make you want to hurt him?
You day he's a faggit.
do you want to kick in his his brains?
You say he's a faggit.
does it make you dick to you stoimmch
they say he's a faggit.
are you afraid your just the same?
faggit.
faggit.
do you hate him,
because he's pieces of you?

they say he's jew.
does that me that he's tight?
they say he's a jew.
do you want to hurt his kids tonight?
they say he's jew
he'll never wear that funny hat again.
they say he's a jew.
as thought being born were a sign.
oh jew.
oh jew.
do you hate him,
because he's pieces of you?

do you hate him?
BECAUSE HE'S PIECES OF YOU?

Thu, 10 Jun 2004 00:10:36 GMT

Alright. I feel better now. Better than on sunday. I hate that I only update when I have to vent. Yet when I'm upset or angry sometimes I can only get it out by writing and talking to someone.

I'm grounded for another week. I haven't been so good with not talking to people. My mom has now grounded me from seeing my brother. Oh well. It's only a week right.

How has everyone's summer been?

If anyone wants to go catch a movie or chill with me sometime just give me a call (well after next wednesday) I miss all of you. I really do.

home: 337-4654
cell: 439-9705

What time do we need to be at the highshool tomorrow for volleyball?

Thu, 10 Jun 2004 00:10:25 GMT

Alright. I feel better now. Better than on sunday. I hate that I only update when I have to vent. Yet when I'm upset or angry sometimes I can only get it out by writing and talking to someone.

I'm grounded for another week. I haven't been so good with not talking to people. My mom has now grounded me from seeing my brother. Oh well. It's only a week right.

How has everyone's summer been?

If anyone wants to go catch a movie or chill with me sometime just give me a call (well after next wednesday) I miss all of you. I really do.

home: 337-4654
cell: 439-3705

What time do we need to be at the highshool tomorrow for volleyball?

the many Lauras

Sun, 06 Jun 2004 11:40:58 GMT

I feel so fucking empty right now. No one who cares. No one at all.

I can't cry. I can even make a noise.

I am a horrible person. You guys don't know who I am. I lead a "double life." There is the school Laura who gets straight A's. Then there is the atheletic Laura who plays volleyball and attepted to do track. There is the social Laura who talks about good music and movies. However, there is the street Laura who gets in trouble. That's the Laura who fucks me up.

I hate that girl. She does me bogus. I have been in trouble with the cops four times. I bet you didn't know that. ONce when old dude stole Stian's car. Another time when I just about got a drinking ticket. One time when a bunch of friends got into a fight. Once when a dumbass threw a beer bottle at an old lady. Annnd... as of tonight...when people were being loud and I got a curfew ticket.

What posseses me to do the stupid things I do? Boredom? hatred? Plain stupidity? Who the fuck knows. I sure don't. Now I am going to have to talk to some investigator. Go to court. Pay a fine. And keep my ass out of troule. It's only the first week of summer.

I recognized that officer too. I don't know why. I think it was the same man who got called out when dude threw the beer bottle.

I want the pain to go away. I don't know how. But I will find a fucking way if it's the last thing I do.

Half of me wants to go on a diet. Quit smoking. Quit drinking. Quit smoking pot and be a good kid. I should say fuck these Carol Addition bums. Run three miles every day. Eat my fruits and vegetables and say my grace. I know every teenager gets in trouble. I know there's that phase. There is nothing and nobody to stop it. However, my phase is lasting way too long. I was already grounded. Now I'll be grouded for the rest of the summer I'm sure. And when that happens...I'm killing myself. I'm serious too. That's why I snuck out tonight. I haven't seen anyone for three days. That'll kill a person. Let me tell you. Or atleast It'll kill me.

I'm about to start working real soon. After that happens I won't see anyone. Working over forty hours a week with a teen o'clock curfew will do that to you. I'll be too tired to do shit. Atleast I'll stay out of trouble, right?

I just want someone to hug me. Tell me they love me. Encourage me. Tell me that everything will be alright.

Until I get that hug...I guess I just go smoke another cigarette.

events over the weekend

Mon, 03 May 2004 13:39:25 GMT

My weekend started off with a track meet in the rain. It was a warm rain. The type that makes you want to sing and dance. Back in the day, the girls and I would always put on bad clothes and play in it. Merry broke six minutes!!!! I was so proud of her. :-D After that, I went home and took a warm shower. Then everyone came over, like usual.

Sturday night my brother fought Ryan. Here's the scoop: Ryan and me were friends. My brother always called me when I was over there for really no reason and talked shit. One night when Ryan and his friends picked me up my brother and his friends surrounded their car. They threated to kick their asses...Blah blah blah. Ryan's friends and my brother never got along in the first place. When Ryan turned out to be an asshole to me, my brother got even more pissed. Last weekend Ryan called my cell phone to hang out. My brother answered it and I guess that's when the real shit got started. My brother and his friends went to Ryan's and one of my brother's friends hit Ryan. Since this dude was so much bigger than him, he backed down. Yet he still wanted to fight my brother saturday night. My brother and about ten of his friends waited here for Ryan and his "crew" to show up. They didn't, so my brother went to his house again. This time it was Ryan and my brother one on one. My brother, from what I heard, got some good hits in, but Ryan got my brother in the eye pretty good. My brother's eye was really black.

I hate fighting. Last weekend I begged my brother and Ryan both not to fight. It didn't help. Fighting is stupid, it doesn't solve anything. I don't have any anger towards Ryan anymore. I haven't for a while. So they don't have beef anymore. They shook up after it was all over. Everything's cool now. I fell bad, though. my brother was just trying to defend me. Since, I obviously can't do it on my own.

Later on that night was interesting too. One of my friends hit another friend over some shit and their not friends any longer. Just too much fighting. Too many bad feelings. Mostly over me. They were frighting over Brittney and I because we wouldn't leave somewhere. Blah blah blah. There's more to it, but that doesn't really matter. soooooooooooooo...if I'm ever caught going over there again, I loose all of my friends I have now. I liked him. O well.

Now I'm sitting here. Late to school. I missed the bus and my mom isn't going to work until about nine. siggggghhhhh. I didn't finsh Biology. I'll tell her I "forgot it". Turn it in tomorrow. Do an extra credit paper. The start working on the end of the year project. It's due in a w eek. 40 minute presentation. I don't even know what I'm doing it on. My grades are getting bad. I have two B's and they are falling fast. I honestly don't care. I've been mentally exhausted lately. I need to stay away from friends and focus on the important things. I'm going straight edge too. I swear.

Now that I can't hang out with tow of the people I hung out with the most and the places that all my friends hang out at, I might as well find something else to do.

I'm off to school now.

Fri, 30 Apr 2004 05:32:09 GMT

So. I don't know where my life is headed at the moment. It seemed for a few weeks that I had found someone to aid me in forgetting my previous heartbreak. In the end, he ended up hurting me as well. Things have changed so rapidly within the last month.

He just called me. His Ex's voice enchoed in the background, "who are you talking to?" Then he hung up. All can I do is cry. Again.

I'm two for two. This feeling sucks ass. I can't talk to him about it because he will deny it. What happened to him being respectful? What happened to him being sweet? What happened to him thinking I was beautiful? What happened to him liking me?

He talked so much shit about her. How she hurt him so bad. HE sees her at a funeral and goes crawling back. I see where I stand. Things will never change. He starts leaving me to go hang out with her. I know you don't go over there to see your sister. I'm not dumb. I can figure things out. When your ex shows up on your door step one night out of nowhere, it's for a reason. YOu didn't have to look me in the eye that night and tell me you had no clue why she was there. I knew it right then. The way she grabbed you and you went outside to talk to her. You went to your sister's five minutes later to meet up with her, didn't you?

I'm completely torn. I also don't know what to do about someone else. He is the one helping me realize how bogus that man is to me. He's told me the business. Yet he wants me for himself. I could like him. I could be with him, because he'd do me no wrong. I can't do it right now, though. I like that bastard way to much.

*And what's up with dude thinking he's morally superior to everyone else?

Wed, 21 Apr 2004 19:09:24 GMT

I'm here with Em and Adri. Hehehehe. Biology sucks. Tomorrow we have to dissect frogs. Yay!!! Welps...the bell is about to ring.

Tue, 20 Apr 2004 03:54:47 GMT

I'm sitting here drinking coffee. The smell of cinnamon insence and the sound of bob seger. It's making me think. I want to cry. Do I really have anything to cry about?

I've realized I like him a lot. He takes care of me in a way and I think I almost do the same for him. Right now I just need someone to hold me. He's the one for that. He tells me to be safe. He asks me all about myself. HE wants to know me. I like that. It not all about you-know-what. For once. I know hoe me feels about me because he's not afraid to show it. I just don't need people up in my business telling people. In that case, It will all be fucked. I have a feeling thats going to happen. I just know it. I could say "fuck everybody else." But those of you who know me, know better than that.

Today was a sick day, yet it was also a day to find myself. To regroup. For some reason I feel more shitty at the end of the day. Is that right?

"You need to move up the chain, not down."

His words ring in my head.

Night.

Mon, 19 Apr 2004 12:37:11 GMT

Sigh.

I feel sick. I just want to sleep, but I don't think I can. Once I'm up I usually stay up. We'll see. I wanted to go to school today because I know we are haing a test in forth hour and I'll have to make up work in first hour and run for third hour. But o well. I'll just have to go in early one morning because I need to make up a geometry test from last week. I'm falling behind. Maybe if I get ride of the headache I can do a little extra credit. Something.

Sat, 10 Apr 2004 08:35:39 GMT

I can't sleep.
I feel sick.
I think of you.
I think of him.
Am I making a mistake?
I want to hold you so bad.
You need someone right now.
I just whish that person was me.

The Postal Service is wonderful.

I guess I'll read until I drift off.

Night.

Fri, 09 Apr 2004 02:30:28 GMT

I went to his house last weekend. Not because I wanted to, but because I didn't know that's where we were going. I told his friend that I didn't want to see him. He seemed to know and understand. It was akward. He never spoke directly to me, but rather talked to Bert. It was really boring there, so we decided to leave. As I was getting out of the car he said "Bye Laura, I'll see you next weekend and don't do anything I wouldn't do." Whatever the hell that means.

Then he had the nerve to call me later on. Begging me to come over. I told him I'm not stupid. That I know what he wanted.
"Do you think I'm stupid?"
"NO LAURA! UGHHHHH!"
"Don't get angry."
"I'm not angry. I'm Upset. I don't want to be alone."
"What could I do about that?"
"I just want someone to talk to"
"Whatever."

I was proud of myself for saying no to him. For not giving in. It was extremely hard. I know It was for the best, though. I know without a doubt that he'll call me this weekend. Sighhhh. Bert says that she thinks it would be best if I stay away from him for a while.

Then there's someone else. I think I'm falling for him. However, there are so many things holding me back. I don't want to be hurt again. Neither does he. He understands. That's what I like about him. He'd never cheat or do me wrong. In fact, I know I'd be the one hurting him in the end. I just need someone who cares right now. Who I can talk to and trust. If we just end up being friends, that's cool. If we end up being more, then that's cool too.

Track has been pretty good. We one our meet tonight!!!!! Yay! I haven't ran in a meet yet. :-( But soon I will. I have pretty much given up on being good this year. There's always next season to improve. I don't want to make the injury worse. It wouldn't be worth it.

School has been grand. I have all A's, yet I still feel as if I've been slacking.

Summers coming and I have so many hopes. I can't wait!!! heh.

Sat, 27 Mar 2004 20:13:53 GMT

I don't know what to think anymore.

I just want to thank you for allowing me to realize how it should have been: You didn't pressure me. You held my hand. You kissed my check. You're respectful. You're sweet. You told me I was beautiful. You ask questions. You listen to my response. I ask you questions. You tell me the honest truth. You don't hide anything or hold anything back. I don't like you. Or I'm not even falling for you. I'm just glad you taught me. Does that make sense?

Now that someone else showed how it should have been I know I deserve better. You blinded me. Or maybe I should say that I blinded myself. You were through with me then called my best friend. Out of every girl in the world you called her! You broke my heart. You honestly did. My first heart break. Blah.

Last night she went over there. I was unhappy at first, but I got over it. You said you didn't know I had feeling for you. HAH! You're just trying to save your ass.

An old fling called me today asking me to hang out. To spend time with him. It was flattering and extremely tempting, but I'm grounded. O well. I don't need to get wrapped up in you again. Doesn't eveyone remember how much I liked him this summer? He was every thought that my mind processed and every word that fell from my lips.

I need a way out. I need. To. Stop. The. Cycle.

Help

Thu, 25 Mar 2004 01:27:39 GMT

Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22) - An air sign represented by the scales, Libra symbolizes balance, order and justice. Librans are diplomatic, easy-going, social people who always promote good will and friendship. They're also more artistic than people of any other sign. Some less appealing traits include indecision and self-indulgence.

That is so true. I have gotten absoluetely nothing done over spring break. I need to get motovated, but I don't see that happening anytime soon. It is spring break, and it's supposed to be relaxing. Somehow, I don't think I'll feel good if I start school again if I waste away my time.

I've been hanging out with the same people. The same thing happens every night. Blah. I'm a person who needs change. I can't do the same thing all the time.

I don't know what to do about the boy situation. Which has to do with my indecisivion. I want to see him again. I wish he'd call everynight. He hurt me sooooo bad. I have to talk to him about it. He can't think that he's able to shit on me and I won't do anything about it. I must earn respect back form him and from myself. It'll be hard, but very much worth it.

Last night he asked me if I loved him. I answered him honnestly. I told him no. He said we're supposed to love eachother. I don't think I could ever truly feel that way towards him. It hurts to see him with other girls, but I don't want to be with him. He said he would like a sturdy girlfriend. He says I'm the one. Bullshit.

As of right now I'm gonna continue to have self-indulgence. I don't feel strong enough to battle my will. Sighhhh. I'll know when the time is right.

I get to run tomorrow!!!! Yay!!!

Mon, 22 Mar 2004 02:52:12 GMT

FUCK YOU!

And I mean that with all of my self respect. I mean that with all of my future. I mean that for all of my friends. I mean that for all of dreams. I mean that for all of my hopes. And most of all I mean that because you doesn't deserve anything kinder.

You have hurt me beyond words.

But I feel entitled to say:

Thank you!

Thank you for making me realize what a true ass you are. Thank you for making me realize how deep I was getting in. Thank you for making me realize how much better I am than you. Thank you for making me realize how much I love myself. For making me realize who I really am and who I want be. Thank you for giving me the strength to change who I've become.

*Who would like to chill with me over break.? I need fresh air. Melissa? Merry? Emi? Cayla? Adri? Lucy? Please give me a call.

Wed, 17 Mar 2004 17:22:04 GMT

So. Right now my stomach really hurts. I feel down. School is shitty. I have all low A's and have become extremely lazy. Track is shityy. My shin is hurt and I can't run until it's better. And you-know-who is shitty. I want to go somewhere with him, but I honestly don't know how. One a brighter note, spring break is next week and I can try to get a fesh start.

Everyday I would like to run for an extensive amount of time and sleep. Run and sleep. And eat. And Tan. And...that's it. Hang out with a few home dawgs. Only ones that chill.

HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM
Thats all I can think about!!!

I wish someone could tell me what to do exactly. Or atleast tell me how to get over someone you really like. Someone must know. How?

I want to go home. But lunch is in like...twenty minutes....sighhhhhh....

Brittney and I have decided what we are going to do this summer. Maybe if You ask me I'll tell you. It's realy cool.

I want to have a room with hardwood floors and only a singleatress in the middle of the floor. I'll have mirrors on the ceiling and candles surrounding the matress. Everything will be red besides the walls including the satin sheets. Only the walls be white with writing all over them. When I think of something, I'll write it down. It will be a room only I can understand. You can learn everything about me by just walking into my room. My deep secrets, worst fears, best times, and favorite things. It'd be wicked!

Emily, that's ranchy!!!!

Sat, 13 Mar 2004 05:31:52 GMT

Lucy. I need to talk to you. Call my cell: 493-9705

Cherishing Others

Fri, 12 Mar 2004 00:58:06 GMT

The main reason we do not cherish all living beings is that we are so preoccupied with ourself, and this leaves very little room in our mind to appreciate others. If we wish to cherish others sincerely we have to reduce our obsessive self-concern. Why is it that we regard ourself as so precious, but not others? It is because we are so familiar with self-cherishing. Since beginningless time we have grasped at a truly existent I. This grasping at I automatically gives rise to self-cherishing, which instinctively feels 'I am more important than others.' For ordinary beings, grasping at one's own I and self-cherishing are like two sides of the same coin: I-grasping grasps at a truly existent I, whereas self-cherishing feels this I to be precious and cherishes it. The fundamental reason for this is our constant familiarity with our self-cherishing, day and night, even during our sleep.

Since we regard our self or I as so very precious and import- ant, we exaggerate our own good qualities and develop an inflated view of ourself. Almost anything can serve as a basis for this arrogant mind, such as our looks, possessions, knowledge, experiences, or status. If we make a witty remark we think 'I'm so clever!', or if we have traveled round the world we feel that this automatically makes us a fascinating person. We can even develop pride on the basis of things we ought to be ashamed of, such as our ability to deceive others, or on qualities that we merely imagine we possess. On the other hand we find it very hard to accept our mistakes and shortcomings. We spend so much time contemplating our real or imagined good qualities that we become oblivious to our faults. In reality our mind is full of gross delusions but we ignore them and may even fool ourself into thinking that we do not have such repulsive minds. This is like pretending that there is no dirt in our house after sweeping it under the carpet.

It is often so painful to admit that we have faults that we make all manner of excuses rather than alter our exalted view of ourself. One of the most common ways of not facing up to our faults is to blame others. For instance, if we have a difficult relationship with someone we naturally conclude that it is entirely their fault - we are unable to accept that it is at least partly ours. Instead of taking responsibility for our actions and making an effort to change our behaviour, we argue with them and insist that it is they who must change. An exaggerated sense of our own importance thus leads to a critical attitude towards other people and makes it almost impossible to avoid conflict. The fact that we are oblivious to our faults does not prevent other people from noticing them and pointing them out, but when they do we feel that they are being unfair. Instead of looking honestly at our own behaviour to see whether or not the criticism is justified, our self-cherishing mind becomes defensive and retaliates by finding faults with them.

Another reason why we do not regard others as precious is that we pay attention to their faults whilst ignoring their good qualities. Unfortunately we have become very skilled in recognizing the faults of others, and we devote a great deal of mental energy to listing them, analyzing them, and even meditating on them! With this critical attitude, if we disagree with our partner or colleagues about something, instead of trying to understand their point of view we repeatedly think of many reasons why we are right and they are wrong. By focusing exclusively on their faults and limitations we become angry and resentful, and rather than cherishing them we develop the wish to harm or discredit them. In this way small disagreements can easily turn into conflicts that simmer for months.

Wed, 10 Mar 2004 19:46:26 GMT

Its really odd. I just went through some old journal entries. I really liked him. I wanted to be at the point in which I'm at with him now for so damn long. Now that I'm here, it's not that great. It sucks. I feel stuck. Only moving backwards rather than forwards. I'll see him in about 20 minutes. will anything change? Nope. Probabaly not. I probabaly won't even talk to him. Like usual. This is NOT how things were supposed to be.

It's my fault. I think. Well maybe a little of both of our faults. I need to tell him how I feel. If I even ever hang out with him again. Right now it seems doubtful. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Tue, 09 Mar 2004 20:06:09 GMT

I'm really bored right now. Thats about all I have to say.

I hope things get better soon. I need something to happen. I need to be bold. Suck up my shyness and all my doubt and just. do. it.

Sun, 29 Feb 2004 07:05:38 GMT

~I know its late. I know you're weary. I know your plans don;t include me. Still here we are. both us of lonely. Longing for shelter. From all that we see. why shoud we worry. no one will care, girl. Look at the stars so far away. we've got tonight. Who needs tomorrow? we've got tonight babe, why dont you stay? Deep in my soul. I've been so lonely. All of my hopes fading away. I've longed for love. Justlike everyone else does.

I'm not a perfect person. theres many things I wish I didn't do. But I continue learning. I never wanted to do those things to you. and so I have to say before I go. that I just want you to know. I've found a reason for me. to change who I used to be. a reason to start over knrew. and the reason is you. I'm sorry that I hurt you. Its something I must live with every day. and all the pain I put you through, I wish I could take it all saway and be the one that catches all your tears.

jkhdsfkda kjkadjrkf kdjf,ad ifogkdaf,kdanogkdan kfngkdanfkgnkfdjt dmv,mnifdtjremfmidhtihe rfkmdaokfhviebrojnodajvienrtbjdhcnvienrjbjeahgfjdhfuivh ejrnfjkncvn d, rlj a;ohoixrd ek;fjnvdzj, .eroea hroitheoifn dz.joierhr toieh argdznfklgniernmfdnokvjeoift .ejnoidh gird rtert.dfgikdanoithertnd,/fldaht;eh.etrhidht ertjertjgdfg ea rt.rtfodeht oertlmgfoeatr.erfodjtelr.dfheoihte r. dfiheoihr t lej.fdlfhvoert le a./.deljotr eoirtjldmf e
edjrtkdjtkljdtkljert,.fmmoiertjdvlkdmithreoijkldmiertef,dmfreoiht fdtherhtjdhtjdkjdntjiejrtijditjidjcmifniehrijncierniefnienfidnfen irh difokedfenfiern idfineoianrieanfkdnoarjeaoihroiafnadorhieafniernanfajirheiarhoieahrihriherhfiehrerbfjnieanciernfincieanfinwifoiefda

yeah. that's how I feel right now. How could I ever be so stupid? SO stupid to think that you care? To think all the things I thought? why? why? why?

Thu, 26 Feb 2004 05:30:28 GMT

Things are pretty good as of this second. We had our first practice meet tonight. I did okay and as an overall team we did well. Nothing to really be nervous about.

I would like to get my belly button pierced. That's be grand. If my mom lets me of course. After track season or what not. By then I should be in better shape and so showing off my stomach would be nice. I should use getting my belly button pierced as an incentive for losing weight and getting in shape. That and so I can get good times on my runs. :-D

Well. I better get back to my homework. I'm really behind in my book for english. I doubt I can catch up til this weekend. :-( that'll bring my grade down.

Your LJ RPG Team
LJ Username
Sex
Favorite Color
Weapon of Choice
Your Partner	forgottenangel6
Your Warrior	6feetontheedge
The Giggly, Flirtatious Magic User with Big Breasts	lost_not_forgot
The Talking Animal	cruelintentions
Main Archenemy	shockwavetrio
Evil Incarnate	pimp_juice369

This cool quiz by ass_ - Taken 64696 Times. </a>

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